Film at Eleven

IRVING, Texas (AP) — Investigators say four people escaped injury when a helicopter made a rough emergency landing on a golf course. While a preliminary report from the FAA stated that the engine apparently quit, thereby forcing the chopper to land Sunday afternoon at Las Colinas Country Club, The Hosel Rocket has learned that the near catastrophe was caused by an errant tee shot from a member of the club, Cipriano Robles.


According to his playing companions,Robles was engaged in a high-stakes golf match known as "baseball", where wagering is based on whether a player's tee shot comes to rest on the left or right side of each fairway. As the match advanced to the 14th hole, and losing badly in the betting, Robles apparently devised a plan to get back in the match. Hailing a beverage cart and ordering a can of Stella Artois, Robles proceeded to drain the beer in a single gulp, and strode toward the #14 tee.

"This is the shot you guys came to see. I'm going for the green!", announced Robles to his playing companions, placing the empty Stella can on the ground as a tee, and setting his golf ball gently upon it. Taking advantage of the strong tailwind and the elevation of his ersatz tee, Robles took a Happy Gilmore-esque rip, sending his ball soaring over the trees toward the green below, confident of at least a two-putt birdie 3 or a possible eagle 2. 

In an unfortunate stroke of timing, a CBS helicopter was flying over the #14 fairway at precisely that very moment, filming a made for prime time match play event between Tom Francis and CD Heinen for Shell's Wonderful World of Golf. As the tail of the chopper took the brunt of the errant shot, Robles and his playing partners could only watch in horror as the craft begin to spin, the pilot working furiously to wrestle the chopper and its occupants to safety.

Fortunately for all concerned, the pilot's efforts were successful. He skillfully brought the stricken bird to a soft landing on the 14th fairway with help from John Cutler, who used a pair of Ping utility woods as paddles to direct the landing. After jumping in a cart and racing down the hill to the crash site, Cip exchanged insurance information with the pilot, then joined John for a quick picture (above).

With disaster averted and everyone's collective attention turned back to golf, Cip then asked for a ruling.

"Hey! It's just like #10 at Canyon Creek. You know, if you hit that telephone wire over the fairway, you get to reload!", he pleaded to his playing partners.  "That helicopter wouldn't even have been there if they weren't trying to film Tom Francis' putting stroke. Come on!"