SOUTHLAKE, TX - Every year, thousands of women are forced to give up golf due to a debilitating illness known as Golf Blindness (yabbos gigantum). Unlike those afflicted with Night or Color Blindness, those afflicted with this disease eventually lose the ability to see their golf ball at address, thus prompting them to quit the game."These women aren't freaks, they're people, and they need to know that there's more to life than just golf," reports Dr. Tim Unverzagt, founder of the Southlake Center for Golf Blindness (SCGB). "It's one thing to be totally unable to putt, say like Tom Francis, but at least he can see the ball. These poor women can't, and it's not their fault. They need someone to take their hand, pour them a glass of wine, massage their...um... shoulders, and tell them that everything will be alright. My methods have been tested on thousands of patients, and are guaranteed to make women feel better about living with Golf Blindness in as little as 10 minutes."
Known in local circles as "Dr. Funbags", Unverzagt cited doctor-patient privilege in not revealing additional details on his treatment methods. However, he has established a toll free hot line (1-800-TIM-CANS) that can be given to any woman who appears at the early onset of the disease. A brief video is attached that will help you identify those needing help.
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