Help The Homeless, Part Two

"I'm not coming back until you
redecorate that 19th Hole"

Long-time Hosel Rocket subscribers will remember the touching story of Boxcar Bob (right), a member of our local homeless community whom Ted Borek brought to LCCC last winter in a well-intentioned but ultimately unsuccessful effort to get him off the mean streets of Irving.

"I still don't get it," said Borek recently, after paying a visit to "Box" in his humble abode behind the Tom Thumb supermarket, "but I guess that just goes to show that while you can take the man out of the box, you can't always take the box out of the man."

Undeterred by the failure of the Boxcar Bob experiment, and citing the success of the new ONE Class Sleeper Seats installed in the Men's Card Room, GM Ron Woolard recently announced the opening of a new homeless shelter at LCCC for area residents who occasionally find themselves in need of a warm place to sleep on a cold night.

Operating out of the smoking room adjacent to the Card Room, the "LCCC Flop House" will feature two leather sofas that can be used as beds, cable TV, hot showers, and unlimited coffee and Chex Mix the following morning.

"ZZZZZ....F*CKING HOLTGRIEVE.....ZZZZ"

The first guest at the new shelter was none other than Chris Daniels, who completed a successful test run last weekend, and was later seen watching the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am from the comfort of the 19th Hole.

Those who find themselves unexpectedly in need of a bed at the Flop House are reminded that accommodations are on a first come, first served basis.