ALL THE GOLF NEWS THAT'S FIT TO PRINT...AND A CONSIDERABLE AMOUNT THAT'S NOT

Welcome to The Hosel Rocket, a quasi-definitive and largely unauthorized source of golf information. Any resemblance of the content found on this site to actual journalism, however unlikely, should be considered purely accidental.

9.24.2010

Seasons Greetings

Gil Hollander has asked me to remind everyone that as of today there are only 90 shopping days left until Christmas, and that Zales has added extra staff at their Red Bird Mall store in anticipation of heavy holiday shopping crowds this weekend.

For a little something to get you in the holiday spirit, please click below.

9.13.2010

Under The (Picnic) Table...And Dreaming

In one of the most anticipated concerts of the year (sorry, Kraig Parker), the Dave Matthews Band visited the Superpages.com Center on Saturday night for a sold-out show. The large contingent of LCCC members in attendance included Cipriano Robles and his wife, Amy, and Jeff Holshevnikoff and his girlfriend, Nicole, whom Jeff flew in from Chicago specifically to attend the show.

The pre-concert festivities began earlier that day at Trophy Club, where Cip and friends got in 18 holes of golf in the scorching afternoon heat, followed by post-round cocktail crawl that began in TC's 19th Hole, proceeded to poolside at Tom Wagner's house, and finally ended in the Mixed Grill at LCCC. Though not a Dave Matthews fan, Amy gamely agreed to go in support of Cip's ardent devotion to the group and their music, promising to file a concert report for The Hosel Rocket the following day.

As things turned out, it was quite a show, but not as memorable as the one that played out on the lawn of the concert venue, where Cip, Amy, Jeff, and Nicole were seated. "We found a good place to sit on the lawn just as the concert started," said Amy, "when I turned around to say to Cip 'wow, these guys sound pretty good'. It was then that we noticed he was flat on his back, passed out on the grass. It was ironic that the band was playing 'Ants Marching', as a dozen of them were snaking across his forehead at that very moment."

Despite the raucous atmosphere, Amy reports that her husband snored blissfully through the two hour show, later citing the effect of that afternoon's sun as the reason for his turf nap. "I had a great time with Jeff and Nicole, and really wouldn't have been too mad at Cip had he not started drooling on the leg of a woman on the next blanket over. Fortunately, I had some hand sanitizer in my purse, which I offered to the woman so she could clean herself up."

Finally, Amy reports that Cip (and his sleeping bag) will be back on the lawn when Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers perform on September 21.

9.08.2010

The King is back...sort of.

As a reminder, Kraig Parker will be bringing his world famous Elvis Presley tribute to LCCC on Friday night, with plenty of tickets still available. Call Kelli Kelsey at 972.541.1141 for more details.

Kudos to Social Committee dynamos and part-time paparazzi Marilyn Noble and Lynn Cox for snapping the above photo of the faux King at his private recording studio in Garland, where he's been rehearsing a new duet with acclaimed Michael Jackson impersonator, Eric Hunt.

The Hosel Rocket has learned that the song will be a take-off of Presley's classic "Caught in a Trap" composition from the 1960s, with lyrics customized for the hip, swinging crowd that's sure to be in attendance at LCCC:

I'm caught in a trap
I can't blast out
Because there's too much netting, baby.

Why can't you see
What it's doing to me
My score went from 75 to 80...(went to 80!)

We can't go on together
With suspicious traps (suspicious traps)
When I hit in these bunkers
I might as well blow Taps...


Remember, 8:00 PM on Friday night...as Lynn and Marilyn will tell you, you won't want to miss it.

9.02.2010

Are You Ready for Some Football?

After a long, hot summer (which may not be over quite yet), football season is finally here, with a full slate of college games kicking off tonite.

Of the many story lines that will dominate this year's college game, few are more intriguing than Bobby Bowden's decision to finally retire from coaching at the age of 103, a watershed event that has triggered a dramatic series of events at Florida State University. As reported by ESPN's Erin Andrews, the demographics of the FSU program have changed virtually overnight - Chief Osceola will no longer wear Depends under his loincloth, FSU cheerleader tryouts will no longer resemble a casting call for The Golden Girls, and dinner will no longer be served at 4:30 PM.