During a late evening trip to the Irving Tom Thumb supermarket dumpster to deposit his trash, Ted Borek found this poor wretch living behind the store in a discarded Maytag refrigerator carton. Upon peering into the carton, he found a man reclining in a sleeping bag, sipping an Old Style, and watching 1985 Chicago Bears highlights on 42" plasma, which was wired to a DirecTV receiver on a nearby tree and powered an extension cord he had run across the street from the driving range at The Four Seasons. Astonished, Borek asked the man for his story, and what brought him to his lowly station in life.
The gentleman, clearly self-conscious by his disheveled appearance and meager abode, declined to give Borek his name, asking instead that he refer to him by his hobo moniker, "Box Car Bob". Ever the humanitarian, Ted invited Bob to the 19th Hole, where he dined by the fireplace on a piping hot bowl of red bean & rice soup (sans red beans and rice), some blueberry muffins, and several gallons of iced tea. As the food and fire warmed his spirits, it was clear this proud man of the rails was deep in thought, as if trying to decide if it was time to get out of the box and come in out of the cold.
Reading his thoughts, Borek asked "Hey, Box, I've got an idea. Why don't we set up a cot for you in here? Maybe in the back of the shoe room? You'll have a john, a shower, and a steam room at your disposal, with all the muffins you can afford to buy from Bob Dray. For Christ's sake, a box is no place for a man to live, even one as luxuriously appointed as that Maytag side-by-side. What do you say?"
Thoughtfully stroking his ragged goatee, Box Car Bob's eyes began to well up with tears. Ted's chest swelled with pride, his heart near bursting as he thought of how his simple yet magnanimous gesture would get at least one lost soul off the streets of Irving and perhaps on the path to a better life. A hush fell over the 19th Hole, as every member present craned their necks awaiting the words that all felt would change this poor man's life, and in the process perhaps each of their own as well.
It was then that Box Car Bob spoke. "Who the hell was your decorator here, Ray Charles? Look at this woodworking - it appears to be from the Early Spanish Armada period. I don't know when the last time was that you guys put any money into this place, but I think it's long overdue. Thanks for the offer, but I'd rather live in my box. By the way, can I get a few of these muffins to go?"
