It's a Miracle!

"OMG! These bunkers
look like hell!"

Inspired by a pre-match pep talk from Pope Benedict XVI (in town to conduct a pre-Easter exorcism on our bunkers), the host team from LCCC earned its first victory of the 2011 TGA League Play season, squeaking by the heavily favored visitors from Gleneagles CC by a final score of 21-15.

Kudos to Steve Holtgrieve, Matt Miller, Nelson Henry, Byron Barlow, Mel Robinson, Danny Lowry, Wes Hameline and Rick Smith for answering the call to arms and dispatching the poseurs from Plano, and for helping get LCCC off the TGA schneid.

With a record of 1-2-0 and a one-match winning streak on the line, the squad will travel to Fort Worth on April 7 to face Mira Vista on their home turf, a real treat for those who have played the course.

The Little Engine That Couldn't

It was a beautiful afternoon for golf last Thursday, when the plucky squad from LCCC ventured east to Dallas Athletic Club for the second match of the 2011 TGA League Play season.

In an effort to build team unity and camaraderie, Coach Wenning reserved a private train to carry the team to and from the match at DAC, but the custom conveyance did little to compensate for the lack of firepower in the LCCC line-up, with the visitors going down by a score of 25 1/2 to 10 1/2. Here's a picture of the train as it attempted to pull out of the DART station at Garland Road:

The Black Sheep Squadron (aka, Mike Bowers & Mike Shearburn) were again thrust into the Scratch Flight, but their bravery and panache proved to be no match for their plus-handicap opponents. Kudos also to Dave Schmertz, Jerry Hass, Mel Robinson, Byron Barlow, George Derr, and Larry Gekiere, who all fought valiently but were able to scratch out by a handful of points from their DAC opponents.

After one week break in the action, LCCC will look to get on the board when we host Gleneagles for Match #3 of the 2011 TGA League Play series on Thursday, March 24.

Hail to The Chief, Y'all!

While it is generally believed that clothes do make the man, it takes more than a wardrobe that would make Liberace envious for one man to lead an organization as diverse and often demanding as Las Colinas CC, especially when he finds himself in the unforgiving spotlight of addressing our general membership.

To that end, the president of the LCCC Board of Governors, Chris Allen, is leaving no stone unturned in his preparations for the first annual "State of The Club" meeting. In an exclusive interview with The Hosel Rocket, Allen revealed that he has retained the services of a professional speech coach to aid in his preparations for his address next Thursday night, March 17.

When pressed for the source of such inspiration, the President went full disclosure. "Look, I snuck out of work one afternoon to go see that movie, 'The King's Speech', just to see what all the damn fuss was about. After watching it, I figured if that guy could teach King Whatshisname how to talk on the radio without sounding like Mel Tillis, I could find someone who could make me sound like James Earl Jones."

While Allen declined to reveal the name of his speech coach, he did credit the source of the referral.  "When your shitter is clogged, you don't call a carpenter to repair it, right? You get a plumber. So, I went to the best public speaker I know, Mike Bowers, and asked him where he learned his oratory skills. He recommended two guys, and since Jack Daniels wasn't available, I went with the other guy, who I found had actually worked with former President Bush on his public speaking issues.  I'm very pleased with the results, and am looking forward to applying my new skills in my Presidential Address on March 17."

THR was able to attend a copy of some video on the working Allen's speech coach had done with President Bush, which can be seen in the following video.  Stirring stuff, indeed.

Other than that, Mrs. Woods, how was your Thanksgiving dinner?

Boys against men?
Christians vs. lions?
Joe vs. The Volcano?

However one-sided these comparisons may appear, they may forever be relegated to the archives of history after yesterday's convincing victory by the visitors from Royal Oaks, who trounced the home team from LCCC by a score of 27-9 in the first match of the 2011 TGA League Play series.


"Psst.  Shearburn! These guys aren't b-a-a-a-a-a-a-ad."

Kudos to Mike Bowers and Mike Shearburn (pictured above) for their pluck and courage in serving as DSLs (Designated Sacrificial Lambs) in the Scratch flight, and to Messrs. Hameline, Robles, Robinson, Schmertz, McCallum, and Whitehead for proudly representing LCCC.  Despite the lopsided outcome on the course, Omar in the 19th Hole reported that we outdrank the visitors by a wide margin in the post-match festivities. So we have that going for us. Which is nice.

The good guys will try to get into the "W" column next Thursday, when the squad will travel west on LBJ Freeway to tangle with the guys from DAC.