Buena Bola Update - Ted Gets Frank!

WASHINGTON, D.C. (UPI) - The office of Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank today announced that the Congressman will be traveling to Dallas on June 9-12 to play in the 2010 Las Colinas Country Club La Buena Bola Member Guest golf tournament. He will be the guest of Ted Borek, a former resident of MA currently residing in Irving, TX.

"I've known Ted since we were teenagers, back when we used to hang out at the Springfield YMCA", Frank told The Dallas Morning News. The event sounded wonderful in and of itself, but when he told me I would get at least six strokes a side every day, how could I say no?!"

For more information on the 2010 La Buena Bola, please click here.

LCCC Wins Again in TGA Match Play #3

The home team successfully defended its turf in today's third match of the 2010 TGA League Play competition, defeating the visitors from Royal Oaks CC by a final score of 27-9.

Kudos to the teams of Easterlin/Dallas, Bowers/Welch, Hessong/Robles, and Eherlt/Barlow for their sterling play in running LCCC's record to 3-0, keeping the team in 1st place in the DFW "A" bracket of TGA League Play. Thanks to Eric for a great job hosting the competition.

Our next match will be at home on April 1 against the visitors from Dallas Athletic Club. Single day badges for the match go on sale tomorrow in the Golf Shop for $75.00 ($5.00 day of Match).

Fundraiser

His Honor, Mayor Robles, is leading a golf fundraiser for his daughter's school, North Hills Prep, scheduled for Saturday, May 1 at Riverchase GC in Coppell. It's for a good cause, so let me know if you'd be interested in playing, and I'll be glad to tally up the respondents for Cip.

Hoseldog Millionaire

As a consequence of a steep decline in subscription revenues, The Hosel Rocket has been forced to lay off 135 employees at our Mumbai call center who were dedicated to fielding calls from certain subscribers (and you know who you are, Frank Carter) on how to confirm your golf plans via the site email link.
While I'm pleased to announce a new strategic call center partnership with Microsoft, it provides but one call center agent (say hello to Pilavullakandi Thekkeparambil Usha), who will be supporting our subscribers on a very limited budget. So that you won't be SOL when you call P.T.U. for 411, from henceforth we will revert to the email "cattle call" system to solicit your golf plans each week.

I'll send out a message on the group code every Sunday night, along with a similar request on The Rocket which will be posted at the top right-hand column. Please use whichever method works best for you, and please let me or P.T.U. know if you have any questions.

New Benefit for Signature Gold! Unverzagt Skydiving School!!

Tim Unverzagt (aka, "Ambassador to All Nations") is pleased to announce the opening of his new skydiving school at Addison Municipal Airport. Spouses, nieces, daughters, maids, aunts, grandmothers and/or girlfriends of Signature Gold Members are entitled to three free jumps for the price of one.

Interested students must sign a Libido Waiver and Release of Liability, and complete the training course depicted in the following video.

LCCC Wins TGA League Play Match #2

Team LCCC journeyed to Fort Worth yesterday afternoon for the second TGA League Play event of 2010, with the teams of Easterlin/Miller, Wenning/Hessong, Robles/Ehlert, and Robinson/McCallum defeating our hosts at Mira Vista Country Club by a final score of 24-12.

Team LCCC now stands at 2-0-0 in the 10-match TGA League Play series, with Match #3 scheduled for Thursday, March 25 at Royal Oaks Country Club in Dallas. If you're interested in playing in this or other 2010 matches, please contact me at 214.564.2530. For more information on the 2010 TGA State League Play series, please click here.

Pace of Play Reminder

Our Golf Concierge Extraordinaire, Mr. Douglas, has asked me to remind everyone of the importance of maintaining a good pace of play on the course. Whether riding or walking, a foursome is expected to complete an 18-hole round in more more than 4:15, something that will become increasingly important later this spring when we resume play off both #1 and #10 tees.

Thanks for your cooperation.

Hey! Let's Be Careful Out There!!

According to the USGA, more than 10,000 golfers are injured each year by errant golf shots, of which approximately 58% of these injuries are as a direct result of shots hit by their playing partners. Too often, this leads to tragic results.

Gentlemen, don't allow yourself to become a statistic - remember to stand behind your playing partners at all times as they address the ball, and be alert for shots that may ricochet off trees, ball washers, port-a-johns, and other indigenous hazards.

In a related local story, the Chambliss-Miller wedding, scheduled for May in Maui, has been postponed indefinitely. As this story went to press, Matt's bride-to-be, Jamie, was searching for a white linen eye patch to pair with Matt's wedding togs. No word yet if the groom's ensemble will include a stuffed parrot on his shoulder.

LCCC Wins TGA League Play Match #1

The home team was victorious in yesterday's first TGA League Play event of 2010, with the teams of Withrow/Schaffer, Wenning/Ehlert, Hessong/Forbus, and Robinson/McCallum putting forth a spirited defense of our home turf in defeating the visitors from Bent Tree by a final score of 24-12.

Thanks to Eric for handling the scoring and post-match festivities in the 19th hole. Match #2 is scheduled for Thursday, March 19 at Mira Vista Country Club in Fort Worth, so please contact me if you're interested in playing. For more information on the 2010 TGA State League Play series, please click here.

Over The Hills (& Far Away) - Kuala Lumpur

Les Lewis sends his greetings from Malaysia, where the courses present some unique hazards not found in the hills of Irving. Its a little know fact that the Kuala Lumpur College of Simian Studies(an affiliate of Florida State University), churns out thousands of MBAs and PHDs each year. Most of these proud FSU graduates go on to careers in the forests of Malaysia, where they're adept at stealing cameras, cell phones, and all manner of shiny objects from unsuspecting golfers.

Armed with little more than his nerve, a bottle of Scotch, and a tiny video camera embedded within the Longhorn logo on his visor, Lester channeled his inner Marlon Perkins and bravely ventured deep into the chimps' native habitat - the corner bar - securing the following video of the locals rehashing their day over a cold beverage. Stirring stuff, indeed!

Burning Desire....to Go

Club management has asked me to remind everyone that until our on-course restroom renovations are completed, please be considerate when using the port-a-johns adjacent to the #4 and #10 greens. Dave McCallum, you might consider going easy on the Poblano pepper chili next time you're in Austin, and expect an assessment in your next month's bill for the shitter you destroyed on #4.

On a related note, you may see (feel) other changes next time you take a spin on one of LCCC's porcelain Hondas. In yet another cost-cutting measure, CCA recently selected a new, Australia-based supplier for its toilet tissue needs, which you can learn about in the following infomercial.