The Hosel Rocket has recently learned that a militant band of gypsies from the breakaway republic of Tomfrancistahn has been sighted prowling the grounds of LCCC. Wearing garish clothing and disguises to protect their identities (see Tom "I'm Mad As Hell" Francis and Greg "I'm Not Going to Take It Any More" Ferguson, pictured above), Homeland Security officials have determined that these incursions are most likely nothing more than a covert effort to determine when they plan to rejoin the action at LCCC, now that our greens have returned to a condition more befitting a private club rather than a goat ranch.
When encountering one of these poor, displaced souls, please make every effort to be courteous. Make sure they can find their way to the locker room. Point them in the right direction of the #1 tee. Remind them that they are entitled to all of the free tees, ball markers, divot tools, and golf pencils they can carry. Last but not least, please remember to be gracious to these traumatized, former members-in-exile when taking money from them when they deem the course suitable for rejoining their fellow members in competition.
Welcome back, boys.
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