Dustin Who?

In a performance that evoked comparisons to Dustin Johnson's stunning collapse in the final round of this year's U.S. Open, Flight 1 co-leaders Matt Miller and Scott Wenning each fired matching 90's in the final round of the LCCC Club Championship, opening the door for Dave Schmertz (who carded a sizzling 77) to win the Flight by a comfortable five-stroke margin over John "The Bronze Bear" Ehlert.

Inspired by the performances of their playing partners, Tom Wagner (also a 1st round co-leader) and Jim Quirk (one shot back) responded with final round scores of 88 and 87, respectively, as all four fell out of the money. The combined score of 357 elicited gasps from the stunned crowd who had gathered around the score board in breathless anticipation of the 1st round leaders' return to the clubhouse.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU GUYS OUT THERE?! HEY, TEDDY, COME TAKE A LOOK AT THIS SCOREBOARD!!!", bellowed Ehlert, so jubilant in discovering he'd finished second that he announced he was buying beer for everyone, which he proceeded to dispense from a free keg of Bud Lime provided by the club. "I haven't seen a meltdown like this since those Russkies blew up Chernobyl in '86, and that was a popcorn fart compared to this performance! Holy cow!!"

Wenning was last seen sitting disconsolately in the shade next to the keg, where Ehlert held the beer dispenser to the corner of his mouth with one hand while massaging his shoulders with the other. Ever the sportsman, Wenning did his best to put a positive spin on the day's events during an interview with Roger Maltbie.

"Every part of my game went off the rails, but I'll be OK after this Budweiser IV," said Wenning. "I just got a call from Dustin Johnson on Kristi Martin's cell phone, telling me to cheer up and thanking me for taking his name out of the golf news for a while. I also want to congratulate Steven Holtgrieve as our new club champion, Dave Schmertz and all the other flight winners, and to the club staff, sponsors, and the good folks at NBC for running such a fine event."

To see the complete list of results and flight winners, click here.