Coming Soon! In Theatres!!

Fresh off their recent undercover assignments in Hong Kong, The Hosel Rocket has learned that Gil Hollander and Tim Unverzagt have signed on with Paramount Pictures to star in the latest installment of the Rush Hour movie series, entitled Rush Hour 5: Enter The Blacksmith. Currently filming on location in Hong Kong, the two stars are shown here relaxing after a grueling day on the set.

Mr. Unverzagt (in the role formerly played by Chris Tucker) plays Duane Pipe, a three-time winner on the Nationwide Tour whose once promising career was derailed by an endless procession of liaisons with admiring female fans ("Hey, good looking. You think you like it behind those ropes, wait until I have you in those ropes..."). Banished from the Tour for bedding a tournament sponsor (Betty White; playing herself in a cameo role), he travels to Hong Kong for a much-needed vacation, whereupon he decides to take up residence and open a driving range that doubles as a brothel ("The Pipe Cleaner").

Cast in the role formerly played by Jackie Chan, Mr. Hollander plays Chin Tu Fat, a broken down, 50-something martial arts master who decides to take up golf after getting his ass kicked by a teenage girl in a Beijing judo tournament. With nothing more than his modest dreams and a battered set of clubs, Chin wanders into Mr. Pipe's establishment in search of golf instruction. Their partnership is sealed when Pipe agrees to teach Chin a golf swing in exchange for free karate lessons, which he deems necessary to defend his lovely employees from the incursions of a local pimp (played convincingly by Chris Allen).

After watching Chin spend several months banging balls (and the hired help), Pipe deems Chin's swing ready for the crucible of tournament competition. Facilitated by a well-timed bribe to the tournament sponsor, Chin secures a sponsor's exemption to the prestigious P.F. Chang’s Open at the Kowloon Golf and Mahjong Club.

Chin proceeds to enter "The Chang's" accompanied by Pipe, a gallery of his nubile employees, and a talking yak named Nelson, who serves as his caddie and motivational coach. After three-putting 36 greens and missing the cut by one stroke (“Damn these greens! They’re harder to read than Chinese arithmetic!!”), a sagging Chin turns to the services of a mysterious Asian blacksmith, Mi Yip (played by Tom Francis) in a desperate effort to cure his putting woes.

Purported to be the last known descendant of the legendary Ping Dynasty, Mi teaches Chin the skills passed along to him by his ancient ancestors - how to shoe horses, make wrought iron patio furniture, and master the delicate art of brushing a golf ball into a hole with nothing more than a flat stick.

Armed with a new stroke, and brimming with the confidence instilled in him by Master Yip (“When you can walk across the practice green and leave no trace, it is then that you will know you are ready, grasshopper”), Chin heads back to Hong Kong. With Nelson on his bag and Pipe's jiggling entourage in the gallery, he bests a world-class field to win the Pei Wei Classic by six shots, and along with it a rich endorsement deal from Ben-Wa Golf Balls.

Look for Rush Hour 5: Enter The Blacksmith in theatres this Labor Day!