Tomillo Returns!

IRVING, TX (UPI) - The sense of anticipation was almost unbearable yesterday, as crowds of people lined up on O'Connor Boulevard to gain a glimpse of the motorcade speeding toward the gates of Las Colinas Country Club.  It only took moments to confirm what many had been predicting for months - Tomillo Villegas had returned.

Upon alighting from his luxury sedan, he politely declined an autograph request from Ron Woolard, and a second request from Eric Hunt to wash his car.  However, before entering the clubhouse (off limits to the media), Tomillo consented to a brief interview with Kristi Martin, the newest roving reporter for The Hosel Rocket.

"Tomillo, it's said that your proficiency with the putter is comparable to a drunken man trying to do a crossword puzzle at night on the deck of a lurching ship. Why then did you choose to abandon LCCC during the last few months when the club's greens were recovering from the effects of the summer heat?  Wouldn't a temporary green or two actually have helped your game?", probed Martin.

"Well, Kristi, it's like this. I've spent my entire life working on this putting stroke, and didn't feel that the condition of the greens were conducive to keeping me in the 46-48 putts/round range that I pride myself on.  I figured when the grass came back to life, I'd come back to Las Colinas.  Kind of like those salmon that go back to Capistrano.  No one knows why they come back - they just do!"

In a related story, Joel Edwards reports that he will have no open lesson times until April of 2011.