The Cup Runneth Over (and Away)

In a stunning postscript to the 2010 Mi-Tee Cup Challenge, The Hosel Rocket  has learned that the recently commissioned Mi-Tee Cup Challenge trophy was stolen from the Irving home of Ted Borek, the mild and unassuming linchpin of the 2010 Team Texas champions. As reported by Brian Williams on last night's edition of NBC Nightly News, the thief turned out to be none other than Sheik Mamad bin Khalifa Al-Thani, the Emir of Qatar.

"Do you believe this (expletive)?", bellowed Borek. "The guy knocks on my door, and said he was in the neighborhood selling time shares in Qatar. I said, 'no thanks, your holiness', my wife an I already own a place down the street in Hyannis. He seemed confused, then asked me if he could use my john. When I took one look at his choppers, I assumed he needed to floss, so I left him alone to do his business."

It was not until later that day did Borek notice an empty space on his book shelf where the gold Mi-Tee Cup trophy rested only minutes before.

"The stones on this guy!  He comes back to the foyer with a rolled up copy of Golf Digest under his arm, you know the issue with the picture of Tom Francis on the cover. The magazine looked a little large, but since it contained a list of Tom's putting tips, I didn't give it a second thought. Next thing I know, I'm down in my rumpus room watching a Ti-Vo of Barney Frank's most recent appearance on C-SPAN, and I see that the (expletive) thing's missing!  I called the D/FW Airport Police, but they said it was too late, and that this scumbag had already left the country."

When contacted by The Hosel Rocket, a spokesman for the Emir offered the following comment: "La Emir takrahu Schmertz shaian Blue Hat laallahoo red ass khairan temporariusgreen lak da tropy comeback FedEx kissmiass," which loosely translated means "maybe that infidel Schmertz will pick me in the draft next year, and I will return the trophy, so you can all kiss my ass."

As this story went to press, Mayor Herbert Gears said the city has no plans of trying to extradite the Emir back to Irving to stand trial for the theft.