She Blinded Me - With Science!

As the dormant turf has made it increasingly difficult to find even the straightest of shots at this time of year, Bob Gats and Todd Wilson are the latest in a long list of savvy duffers who've switched to optic yellow ammo, and enthusiastically report that the ease in which they can find these day-glo pellets has shaved both strokes and time off their rounds. 

In a moment of inspiration, Tim Unverzagt reports that he's developed a most interesting scientific application for high-optic technology. Formerly a fixture in our weekend golf scene, Tim mysteriously vanished from LCCC last fall shortly after a long business trip to Asia. Following an anonymous tip that led him all the way to Japan, The Hosel Rocket's own investigative reporter Geraldo Rivera recently spotted Unverzagt on the streets of Tokyo, as he was seen stepping out one evening with a posse of comely companions. It was then that the mystery of Tim's disappearance was solved.  He'd been doing market research for his latest invention.

"Do you know how hard it is to find a petite Asian woman at night in a dark hotel suite?", lamented Unverzagt to Geraldo, both ladies men of epic reputations.  "I got tired of stubbing my toe coming back from the john, or when I stepped out in the hallway behind the ice machine to have a smoke. At first, I tried duct taping their cell phones to their foreheads so I could call their number and find them when their phones lit up, but it turns out duct tape doesn't stick very well to Mazola oil, and the damn things kept falling off."

It was then that Unverzagt revealed his invention - glowing dental implants. "Just think about it, there's really only a few areas on a woman's body that I'm really interested in, and what better place to start than the mouth?  I just call their name - or names, depending on the evening - and I just walk toward their smile.  It's perfect!  I haven't stubbed my toe - or anything else - in over a month."

Please see the following video for highlights of the recent field trials of Tim's invention.  Truly amazing!